Dear Single Mommy,
So I have been writing these blogs to talk to the woman in you but still ensure I acknowledge the mother. As we change our mindset and redefine the term "Single Mom" I believe the growth of DearSingleMommy came with me being transparent as ever. So here we go!
As God has open many doors for opportunities, I love how he doesn't just give it all to me at once. If it was left up to me I would be traveling and speaking now but in all honesty I thank him for the process and preparation. It is brought to my attention that there are things I have dropped the ball on, especially when it comes to my child.
I always see how Mothers are said to be the nurse, the disciplinary, the cheerleader and all the many hats we wear. The one hat that most moms probably struggle to find time for is the teacher hat. I saw that my daughter was struggling in certain areas and immediately I wanted to be embarrassed because in my mind: "my child is the smartest thing ever who catches on to everything and doesn't need help". That's the perfect world I live in where my child could do no wrong too.
Now, for a lot of mothers who are striving to be their best self. You start going backwards when you feel like you are failing your child. So when I got this note, I had some emotions of sadness, anger and my mind wanted to retreat back to excuses or who I could blame.
We go into to a defense mode when someone may be trying to help but chooses the wrong timing or the wrong verbiage and it can make you feel like a bad parent.
If you are honest like me, you start talking about the past and use the curse word I like to call "Excuses" to why your child isn't where they should be.
Here is some of my excuses that will try to creep in:
I work a 9-5 job to keep this household up with no financial support.
I don't have the time, when I got to cook dinner, take baths and get her ready for bed. Along with trying to get me some me time.
If I had a father in her life then maybe she would get the help she needs.
The last two years I was struggling financially and living in a transitional home. So I feel like I can't catch a break.
(God probably be rolling his eyes like my daughter Audrey bye! lol)
For some of us the list can go on.
All though these things maybe valid.Yet, they should not hold power in your life anymore because we have overcome those things. So I had to stop myself from pulling the "Woe is me" Card.
Sometimes in a Single Moms Mind when we have been abandoned by the responsibility of the other parent, we feel like we have something to prove. So the moment we feel that we failed as a mother we try to place the blame on what occurred in our past.
See this note.
I doesn't say Amara is Dumb.
It doesn't say that Amara is slow.
It doesn't say that Amara is bad.
It doesn't say that Amara won't make it in to a great college.
It doesn't say anything about her character.
It doesn't say that God doesn't have a plan for her.
It simply means that I need to make some adjustments as a mom to ensure that my first ministry comes first.
So I dare not go backwards. Not Woe is me (I am single mom *insert excuse here*), but God is with me! 🙌🏾🙏🏾
Thankful for my village, my life group, my best friends, my mentors and her grandparents.
I can't wait to make learning fun, plus it will help me with my pronunciation for my own speaking engagements.😆